My son is only 10 years old right now, but I’ve already started thinking about what i will tell him and his sisters as they get interested in the opposite sex and marriage. Here’s a list.
- If at all possible, wait until after you’ve finished college and are more than 21 years old. 1 2 3
- Become the type of person you would like to marry.
- Focus on what you want to do in life, not on finding a mate.
- Don’t marry any of the first FOUR persons you have a crush on. The mathematical theory of Optimal Stopping predicts that any one you love after four is probably your best match. 4
- There is no perfect match. Only bad matches and good ones. Find up to four essentials you would like in a spouse (e.g. faith, music, intellect, motorcycles) and look for those.
- Don’t marry someone who you can live with, marry someone you can’t live without.
- Make sure you enjoy each others’ activities as friends. You will be setting goals and activities together for a long time after the newness of guilt-free, risk-free sex wears off.
- Marry someone of the same faith. Faith mismatches can be very difficult during hard times because you will each run to separate places.
- Be serious about your own faith, one way or the other. Ambiguity and lack of commitment can bite you when times get hard.
- Pray and trust God to find you a mate despite your faults.
- What is the Best Age to Marry? (family.org) ↩
- Get Married in Your Late 20s If You’d Rather Not Get Divorced (nymag.com) ↩
- Want to Avoid Divorce? Wait to Get Married, But Not Too Long (family-studies.org) ↩
- How To Marry The Right Girl: A Mathematical Solution (npr.org) ↩