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Some schmaltzy kids and God humor3 min read

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Here’s some cute misunderstandings of God by kids, sent to me as some internet spam.  Enjoy.

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back
and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, ‘My
Mommy looked back once while she was driving,’ he announced
triumphantly, ‘and she turned into a telephone pole !’

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.  She asked the class, ‘If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?’  A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, ‘I think I’d throw up. ‘

A Sunday school teacher asked, ‘Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?’
‘No,’ replied Johnny. ‘How could he, with just two worms.’

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, ‘We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.  But, there is a Higher Power.  Can anybody tell me what it is?’ One child blurted out, ‘Aces!’

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible – Psalm 23.   She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.   Little Rick was excited about the task – but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm.   After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, R icky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, ‘The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know."

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, ‘So your mother says your prayers for you each night?  That’s very commendable.  What does she say?’  The little boy replied, ‘Thank God he’s in bed!’

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
‘Yes, sir,’ the boy replied.
‘And, do you always say them in the morning, too?’ the pastor asked.
‘No sir,’ the boy replied. ‘I ain’t scared in the daytime.’

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house.  Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.  When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer," said his Mother.
"I don’t need to," the boy replied.
"Of course you do," his Mother insisted."We always say a prayer before eating at our house."
"But this is grandma’s house," said Johnny. "And she knows how to cook.."