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What is a “Typical” Evangelical?2 min read

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A recent comment here suggested that the typical Evangelical family is like the one described in My Half-Year of Hell With Christian Fundamentalists.  Thankfully, this portrait, while perhaps more common that we would like, is certainly not the common evangelical, though it may be the typical self-described fundamentalist (see the chart in this post for the differences).  It’s a sad story, but thankfully, it’s representative of a minority (though larger than it should be).

The article described the following characteristics.  Is this you?  It ain’t me!

  • Dawn Church visits – are you kidding?  I have trouble making it to the 10:30 service at my church.  I mean REAL trouble – I almost never get there less than 15 minutes late.  And half the time, I skip ;(
  • Talking about sex at every meal – um, I guess if you are worried about your teen, you might talk about it more than usual.  Every meal?  Um, whatever
  • Married Celibacy – OK, these people were definitely NOT mainstream.  Even hard core fundies enjoy the missionary position as often as they can.
  • Drinking Wine is Demonic – now, most fundies and perhaps half of Evangelicals are tea totalers (I, being a moderate, am not ;), but they know that drinking wine is not prohibited in scripture.  That is, unless they buy the old canard that the wine in the bible was not alcoholic, but few evangelicals buy that one.
  • No Coffee Allowed – OK, now I KNOW he was in some crazy whacko church – I mean, if it’s one thing that fundies allow themselves, it’s coffee and fattening food.  You sure these guys weren’t JW’s?
  • Using people for evangelism – now, this is probably much more common in fundy and evangelical circles – wanting to "reach people" for the wrong reasons – pleasing God, earning something, boosting self-esteem.  None of these are LOVE.