The oft repeated line that Christians are just as likely to divorce as non-Christians has taken a hit after a recent study showed a somewhat different story.
The facts do show that those claiming to be a Christian have basically the same divorce rate as non-Christians, but those who attend church regularly have a rate 30 to 50% less than others.
The study also brought to light to development of the neo-traditional family, defined as one that supports the traditional gender roles, but has a husband that is more emotional supportive and involved in the life of his wife and children. According to the study, marriages of this type tend to be stronger and happier.
The always convenient "Those Christians Who Are Getting Divorces Aren't Actually Christians" defense. I'd be interested for a control in this study for all couples that do regular activities together. For instance, does this have anything to do with church, or do couples who set aside three hours per week for time shared with one another stay together long and divorce less?
My guess is that the issue here isn't Christianity, but togetherness.
Hi Sam, here is a site without the Christian bias that may support you.
Variation in divorce rates by religion:
Religion % have been divorced
Jews 30%
Born-again Christians 27%
Other Christians 24%
Atheists, Agnostics 21%
For example…
Well, this is a valid question which we have discussed before. Just what is a genuine Christian? Similar to the question, What is Christian music?
I will not argue that Christians get divorced way too often, but I just found it interesting to see the data that said couples who attend church regularly can be half as likely to divorce. I'm not sure what you can attribute that to, but the research data seems valid.
First, an aside: Give me my hick music everytime! ;)
Now then,
Of course people who do not do what the Bible says are not behaving as christians. If you are an atheist and someone sees you down on your knees meditating, you will have a difficult time convincing them you are an atheist.
I think any family has a better chance of survival if each of the members are more focused on the others than themselves. Those who study the Bible regularly get constant encouragement to do just that.
And a family who spends time together will obviously be stronger.
You would not get a football team together and then tell them "See you at the game, make sure you practice!"
That would not work. I happen to remember that my brother practiced four times a week with his high school football team. He loved it. They won a lot too.
A family where both the parents are always at work and the children are always in daycare or at school is set up for failure. There is just no getting around it.
There are Apostolic Christians who would argue that you guys are lousy, unChristian sinners. There are hardcore Catholics who would argue that the Apostolics aren't true Christians. There are faith-testing Christians who would argue that the Catholics aren't Christians. Every denomination objects to another denomination somewhere. But you guys don't get to pick and choose who is, and who isn't, a Christian. I would assume that responsibility falls to God, assuming God is a Christian, exists, or cares.
What is infuriating is how regularly you change the rules concerning Christianity. As far as you're concerned, self-identified Christians who embarrass the faith aren't actually Christians, because they're bad for your argumentative positions. That seems to be the determinant in who counts, and who doesn't.
I'm almost certain that the issue here isn't religion, but togetherness. Any couple that makes a point to spent time together, alone, away from outside distractions (including kids) at least for a little while per week, is far more likely to survive the difficulties of marriage.
Forgive me if this comes up twice or if two similar posts come up. Not sure if the first one worked or not.
What is infuriating is how regularly you change the rules concerning Christianity. As far as you're concerned, self-identified Christians who embarrass the faith aren't actually Christians, because they're bad for your argumentative positions. That seems to be the determinant in who counts, and who doesn't.
My determinant for who is a christian? The Bible. And that only makes sense because the whole idea of being a christian comes from there.
And a person can be a christian but behave like an atheist, btw. Just like a person can be an adult but behave like a child. Or be a woman and behave like a man… or vice versa.
I think you can see the point.
Sam, the question of who is and who isn't a Christian is an interesting one. You are correct in that God alone has the authority to make that decision, hence our problem. We are not in perfect communication with God right now. Many groups have many different ideas.
I tend to disagree with all the groups who claim that only their denomination is entirely right. I think all of us are wrong in some of our points. The only clear thing in Scripture is that Jesus Christ and accepting His gift of salvation is the determining factor of being a Christian. Therefore, I will work with and embrace as fellow Christians many people from different denominations.
I don't change the rules as far as who gets to be a Christian or not. I have never done that. My point in posting a link to this was that church attending Christians have a lower divorce rate. I never said the others were not Christian.
Because we cannot know a person's heart, many use the old adage "actions speak louder than words." A person may say they are a Christian, but their actions do not back that claim up – many doubt their words, since the actions do not support it.
In my own life, I often argue (even against my pastor) about people who claim to be saved but whose lives at a certain point do not match their professed belief system. I contend that it is possible to be a Christian, but live your life for a period of time apart from God. I don't think that it is an enjoyable experience and I do believe that eventually that person will return to God, but I also understand that I have a limited perspective and should not judge that person solely on a single negative snap shot of their life.
Jesus said we could judge a person by their fruits – their actions and lifestyle. We (humans) may be wrong in where the line is drawn. I'm not sure, but again I have no problem leaving that up to God, knowing that He acts in accordance with His word.
I will not argue that Christians get divorced way too often, but I just found it interesting to see the data that said couples who attend church regularly can be half as likely to divorce. I'm not sure what you can attribute that to, but the research data seems valid.
It's not valid. Check out my second post in this thread.
Well I am new with this website. I do not know if this is where we can meet Apostolic chrisitans who are divorced? Well I am filing for divorce this coming year. And I have been prayiing for God to show me what He wants for me. And I truly believe that I need a strong faithful christian man to support me in my chrisitan walk. I do have a child of 3 yrs. going on 4.
Yoli, I don't know if I would come to this site for ADVICE on where to find divorcees, but I'll certainly give you other advice, based on the few sentences I now know about you:
1. What do you mean by Apostolic?
If you are referring to a branch of xianity that emphasizes a very specific doctrine, I would encourage you to broaden your search for a new Church, and look for a healthy church. I would propose that part of why your marriage failed may have been due to an unhealthy Christian church. Trust me when I say that there are many healthy, biblical churches out there that might not share the same apostolic emphasis, but are still where God might want you to be.
2. What God wants after a Divorce
I can tell you what he does NOT want, generally speaking. He does NOT want you to jump into another relationship, even if you have children. I would recommend not dating for at least a year (unless God shows you otherwise), and not marrying for 2-3 years.
I would recommend:
– pursue healing from your divorce, including going to Christian counseling – not just pastoral counseling, but a real counselor. If you mistrust psychology, let us know, and I can tell you about how and why I abandoned that stance
– find a healthy church that can support you in your parenting, and even financially if need be
– if you have to, move in with your parents, if that is doable and you need financial help
3. You do not need a man…yet
I'm telling you, resist that thought. You do, but God also wants to teach you to stand on faith yourself, and to show you your own worth and strength. You need friends and family, but not another man. Not yet.
Both Jesus and Paul supported divorce rights.
see http://christiandivorce.1hwy.com/index.html
the site author's email is on site.