Pet Peeves #006 – The Automobile
I spend two hours a day in my car, a large 2001 Chrysler LHS. I grew up in a family that always had large cars – a 1960 Olds 98, and at least three models of LTD Station Wagon (woodies) – in fact, my mom still owns one. I have come to require enough space to be comfortable, and today’s compact, even mid-sized cars, seem to be built for small Japanese women.
But autos have a world of things that ought to be improved upon, or problems that need to be solved. Thankfully, most of the premium car manufacturers like BMW and Lexus have been addressing these problems, but they are woefully slow.  Here’s what I would like to see changed about cars.
Dog people : golf > cat people : ???
I was meditating on one of my favorite hobbies and realized that my choice of hobby was related to the fact that I was a cat person. Then it hit me – dog people have a favorite pastime that is analogous.
Dog people like golf : cat people like … bird watching. And this is all due to the different nature of dog and cat people.
Suicide Bombers Go On Strike
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February, from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife. Read more
He is (NOT) risen!
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I didn’t know he was lost. Seriously though, if they found him, I can tell you where. Â Supposedly, his body is buried in the Mosque of the Prophet in Medina. However, the point is, he is dead, but Jesus rose from the dead. And may I add, Momo’s words bring death, but Jesus’ bring life.
Not sure that Jesus actually rose from the dead? Â You can always listen to William Lane Craig or Lee Stroble defend that proposition.
Avatar merely a modern Pocahontas story? You bet!
Got this from twitpic – awesome! And for the record, I really liked Avatar.
Hypocritical left race practices
Sure, both sides play politics, but liberals do it best. Here’s their decision chart. Enjoy.
Leaders in hell, an Obama joke
A joke from the conservative spamosphere…
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George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she was finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he was finished the devil informed him that there would be no charge for the call and feel free to call the USA anytime.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free.
The devil replied, "Since Obama became president of the U.S. the country has gone to hell, so naturally it's a local call."
Al Gore is a big fat lying weenie and wrong about climate change
I couldn't think of a good title for this great illustration, found on iMaksim's blog. So I went obnoxious – but also, it turns out that the infamous and debunked CO2/temperature graph from Al's movie was not only wrong, it may have been done ON PURPOSE (i.e. 'they lied.'). Happy Holidays. I hope the health care bill fails. Really, it's bad on so many levels, it will doom our economy and our healthcare. It's lunacy. Moonbattery. Stupidity in hope's clothing.
Some Obama Jokes
Q: What’s the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny, and everyone else knows they’re not jokes.
Q: What’s the difference between Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One’s full of tax evaders, blackmailers, liars and threats to society. The other is for the ones that got caught.
Q: What’s the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.
Q: What’s the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?
A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth.
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
Q: What’s the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: What’s the difference between a zoo and the White House?
A: A zoo has an African lion and the White House has a lyin’ African.
Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
Q: What’s the difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler wrote his own book.
Q: What’s another difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.
Q: Why doesn’t Obama pray?
A: It’s impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.
Obama and unemployment – “Mission accomplished”
Here's a nice cartoon that expresses how we see Obama's claims at saving jobs. Reminds me of the picture below it.
Vision or prison?
This wonderful cartoon from ASBO Jesus got me thinking about the whole vision thing. As a pastor, one of the chief difficulties is inspiring volunteers to pursue a vision. Here's my comments.
- Inspire, don't threaten.
- People are more important than the work or the timeline
- To inspire, YOU must be inspired, and keeping yourself motivated and 'inspirational' while going through life's normal ups and downs is a tough discipline.
- WITHOUT a vision, church is boring and lethargic. People like to be part of a ship that's going somewhere.
- Forging a vision that works first involves forging it with a team, not just yourself.
- God uses our own passions and experience from which we draw our vision and inspiration, but it is also GOD's vision and timeline that matter, and discerning which is which is tough. Having a team (see #5) helps lend some objectivity to help figure out what is 'me and God' and what is just 'me.'
- Aim at nothing, hit nothing. But if you do aim at something, be happy no matter what you hit, you are almost sure NOT to hit exactly what you were aiming at. Learn from it.
Grocial Security
To Paine and the boys at Shire Network News have prepared another superior podcast, continuing their mission to 'protect the Anglosphere through satire.' I excerpted this short bit on the introduction of government-run grocery stores. Awesome.
Download Grocial Security (mp3)
Podcast: Play in new window
ASDF Jesus 001 : Know-it-alls
This is an ode to one of my favorite online toons, ASBO Jesus. My motto should be "Bringing the gospel home" (get it? ASDF = home keys). Enjoy.
Unbalanced, one-sided, dogmatic intellectuals confuse the crap out of the common person.
