Hi, I’m Regis and you’re watchin’ America’s Got Talent. Let’s meet our judges. Say “Hi” judges.
Okay, let’s get started. Here’s our first talent of the evening.
You’re joking right?
No, I can sing. I have a album coming out called….wait a minute…I know the name..oh yeah, “Paris Hilton”
I did not fly 2,000 miles to see this kind of “talent.” America is this is all the talent you’ve got, I feel sorry for you. I’m sorry it’s a “no” for me.
I was really moved. I am a big fan of yours.
Awesome. I mean that is all I can say – awesome. It was really awesome. The way you touched deep down to the …. um ….. the heart, the ….. spirit, the …..
Yeah soul! It was awesome how you have so much soul. You are just awesome, but it’s a 100% “no” for me.
I’m sorry. But keep singing. You won’t be moving on, but keep singing. Just keep singing.
I’m sorry Paris, but if you still looking for a job I think you have enough talent to be my co-host. Well folks that’s our show for tonight. We’ll see you …
Go Granny! It’s ya birthday!
Didn’t we already put you through to the next round?
Yeah, but all my homies out there can’t get enough of the MC G-to the-ranny. They ready to throw they hands in the air and wave ’em for Granny everywhere!
Okay thanks Granny. We’ll see you and the audience next time on America’s Got …
Where did you come from? Your never around when I really need you.
You’ve got corporate sponsorship!
Fine. America’s Got mail and …
I’m here because the black person is under-represented on this so called talent show of yours…and the sequel to “You’ve Got Game” is about to hit theatres.
Okay. America’s Got mail, game and …
5 seconds to tell me everything I need to know or I am going to start shooting.
You’re not even on the right network.
Chloe, download those files to me ASAP! I don’t have time for this!
That’s it. I’m done. For once I wish I was back behind that desk with Kathie Lee droning on and on about her kids.
Need a lift?
HT:Wuzzadem, simpy because he is the master of this. If you haven’t done it, go through some of his archieves.