An 18-year-old Chicago man was arrested for kidnapping two small children with plans to use at least one for a demonic ritual.
David Rodriguez was being held on $500,000 bond. Prosecutors said he and a 15-year-old companion snatched the children Friday outside a South Side library and planned to carve a pentagram in the girl’s chest.
The ritual was intended to “get back his former girlfriend.” In a surprising development the former girlfriend revealed that while kidnapping a little girl and carving a satanic symbol on her chest does show “extreme devotion.” It also is a bit “odd” and would not, in fact, lead her to get back together with Rodriguez.
Rodriguez apparently needed only the girl, so he released her 8-year-old brother, who told people on the street about the kidnapping, Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney Tracy Senica said.
Police found the girl unharmed at Rodriguez’s home, and they arrested Rodriguez when he returned with candles and incense.
Rodriguez was charged with two counts of aggravated kidnapping, police spokesman John Mirabelli said.
The two counts of aggravated kidnapping and all-around creepiness of an attempted demonic ritual did not phase Rodriguez’s loyal grandfather.
His grandfather, Julian Rodriguez, called the accusations “ridiculous.” He said his grandson was a “good kid.”
In related news, the diary of Hitler’s mom was found. She also refers to the accusations against him as “ludicrous,” claiming he was always such a “good boy.”
Writings by Stalin’s long lost uncle have also come forward stating that his nephew was simply “misunderstand” and that whole killing of millions does not take away from the fact that he “could really play some chess.”