Two of the most common responses to a Christian speaking about gay issues is: 1) Why are you obsessed with gays? 2)Why don’t you speak as much about adultery, divorce, child abuse, famine, or the horrible service at your local DMV, etc. as you do about homosexuality?

I want to respond to those questions in a couple different ways.

1) Why are you obsessed with gays?

Most Christians I know are not obsessed with gays or gay marriage or anything else dealing with homosexuality. We don’t wake up in the morning thinking, "How can I anger some gay people today?" The reason many people assume all Christians talk about is gay issues is because that is all many people hear.

Take the recent example of danielg and his continous verbal sparring with many of the commenters here. When asked why he was obsessed with gays, danielg responded that (as of September 10) only 14% of his postings had dealt with gay topics.

Many posts have been turned into discussions on homosexuality, by those who claim danielg is obsessed with it. Take for example his post Am I Far Right and his most recent post on South Korea.

Now that is not to say that danielg’s position on homosexuality should not be considered in being classified as "far right" or the stance Christians take on being gay and how that affects people in South Korea. But it seems absurd to suggest that danielg is "obsessed" with gay topics when he post on a different topic the vast majority of the time with no real comment from anyone and other times when he posts on something different, the comments are turned into a discussion of gay issues by others.

The same thing can be said for James Dobson. Many of his most vocal opponents do not actually listen to a show or go to his website. They merely wait for someone to call their attention to another "anti-gay" remark by him and they assume that is all he talks about.

The problem is they miss the months worth of shows between commenting on gay issues that deal with raising children, loving your wife, pornography, child abuse, adultery, etc. No one talks about those shows because they are not controversial so the critics never hear about them, which flows into my answer to number 2.

2) Why don’t you speak as much about [fill in the blank issue, mainly adultery and divorce] as you do about homosexuality?

One of the reasons this question comes up is that people assume that Christians only talk about gay issues, not hearing or bothering to hear all of the other issues that Christians discuss, including adultery and divorce.

Having said that, I will grant that most Christian "spokespersons" bring up homosexuality more than they do adultery and divorce. But, there are logical reasons behind this.

First, even in our culture of no-fault divorce and rampant affairs, these are still considered to be abnormal or at least immoral. Everyone may well be "doing it," but the majority of Americans view these things in a negative light and there is not much vocal effort to change that.

The flip side of that is that because everyone is doing it, while it still is considered immoral, it has gained some reluctant acceptance in our society. Many who campaign for "traditional marriage" see no hope in the current poltical and social landscape of repealing divorce laws and punishing adulterers, but they do see hope that they can prevent further weakening by preventing gay marriage.

Also, there are no (that I know of) divorce lobbyist or adultery lobbyist in Washington trying to influence laws to favor or recognize these things as legitimate. No one is debating that those who committ adultery or who get divorced are born that way, hence the debate over gay issues and gay marriage is more entrenched and poses more problems.

Having said all that, I agree to some extent that Christians speak too much on gay issues and not enough on all other sex outside of marriage issues. For a personal example, a couple of weeks ago my pastor preached on homosexuality, which I thought was odd since, as far as I know, no gay people go to our church, but we have several people who are living together outside of marriage.

That goes back to what is easier. It is much easier to attack issues that our out "in the culture" than it is to confront our own issues "in the Church." But our command from Scripture is clear, we are to be salt and light to the culture, but the Church is to judge it’s own members, not those on the outside. That is God’s job.

It is evident that the Church is not doing a good enough job in teaching about divorce and sex outside of marriage, when the same number of Christians get divorced as do non-Christians and basically the same number of teenagers in Church have sex as do outside the Church. (There is encouraging news though for those who do follow God’s plan: the divorce rate between two virgins is statistically invisible. It is so small that it virtually does not exists compared to the much touted statistic about half of all marriages.)

The issues that spring up from the conflicts between gays and Christians can be better evaluated when both sides understand more of where the other is coming from. Most Christians are ignorant of gay people and why they seek gay marriage, just as most gays are ignorant of the true intentions of Christians.

This post was not intended to spark another comment debate, but rather I wanted to demonstrate that tossing out ill-informed statements such as "you are obsessed with gay issues" (and the insinuation that follows that) and "you don’t talk about other topics enough" are bothersome and cloud the debate at best, at worst they bring the debate to a screeching halt because of the ignorance they indicate.